365

I am alone

Utterly adrift in the sea of my own mind

The ripples of my thoughts crash on the far off shores of other people

Roiling angrily in the calm of their waters

Yet

There will be no rescue for me tonight

No safe harbor of strong arms

No steady heartbeat to pull me into minutes beyond this one

Again

I must build for myself all the things I need and many of the things I want

Creating a carbon fiber exterior that might just be more bullet proof than the last one

Extracting tears as sealant

Family absent

I tried to build myself a family of people I love

Who love me but are not of me nor i of them

Family without obligation

Individual

They each have lives

Thoughts, concerns, worries, and battles

Filled with not me

Perhaps

I have always been alone

Perhaps I always will be

Never to understand the application of unconditional, perhaps

Desperately

I continue to cling to the idea of a family I never had

Never will have

Norman Rockwell, you are a liar

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