Debtor

My life as polish for my eulogy

24 years spent an ellipsis away from the final keystroke

Somehow, uncertainty in the ending

The stubborn possibility of some way away from here

Calling from the recesses of uncharted space behind my eyes

A blissful suspension of pressured life

Mythological peace

Sold wholesale in every instance of experienced art

Individual moments of weightlessness in the riptide

They force my self out from sweet oblivion

Into the roar of expectation

Roiling thick with responsibility

How I hate that I see outside the lines

Into spaces occupied only by others forgotten dreams

Cursed longing for unreality

I miss things I know do not exist

Treasured memories from lives I’ve never lived

The maybe that they simply are not

yet

Beckoning me to the next breath

Hope

Merciless creditor

Collecting interest on the bet that it’s worth living

Once flush now ever so dangerously thin

Born for sacrifice

How much further will I venture on credit
-EJoveJohnson

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