Relativity

I always start my poems with grand ideas

Condensed down into single words

So full

They can ONLY be understood in abstraction

The heavy lifting of MY human existence

Outsourced in pursuit of transcendent literary greatness

Only

I’m just an impetuous girl from New Jersey

Damn near three decades in and sometimes, the person I undress at the end of the day is not the one I dressed at its start

I have no idea what I’m capable of, or what I’m not… or even who I’m going to be two weeks from now

This poem

Was supposed to start with

“Time”

How you need more of it

And

How I just don’t seem to have enough to undo what you spent a lifetime learning

It was supposed to prove that taking the next 50 years on faith is as easy as breathing

But

It isn’t is it….

It’s the rest of forever as far as we’re concerned

The entirety of our human experience signed, sealed and delivered

It’s the end of our youth

And that.. just… doesn’t seem fair

I’m in no rush to get to the end of our story

I know I don’t wanna glue anyone else’s dentures in

But

I want those dentures to be as far away and abstract as the words I use to start my poems

You’ve already taught me more about who I am and what I’m capable of in three years than I was able to figure out on my own in the preceding 24

And I want to spend the rest of my days exploring your depths because I have never in my life met someone so utterly captivating

This poem hasn’t gone where I expected, but then neither has my life so far… or yours

Somehow all those twists and turns and tears and tribulations

All those decisions large and small

Lead us to be standing in front of each other, that night, several years removed from this moment where our story began

This poem came into being as an explanation of the relativity of time

How three years CAN measure up to fifty and inform your choices about forever

I realize, though, that it was NEVER about grand ideas like time or even relativity

It was about an impetuous girl from New Jersey who fell in love with a quiet boy from Brooklyn

How she loved him so much that, perhaps selfishly, she wanted to claim him for all the rest of forever

That the magnitude of love she felt for him made her want, for the first time, to share that love with a being of our own creation

Really

It’s about how a quiet boy from Brooklyn taught an impetuous girl from New Jersey that in the universe of moments that are the rest of our forever time -, as a linear pressure cooker of frantic expectation, – doesn’t exist

We set the pacing of our story and before we get old together we should be young together first

-EJoveJohnson

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