Sunday Solemnity

I sit with my back to you
Swallowed by the silence of what I don’t know how to say
Silenced by the enormity of fear I am totally inadequate to explain
I love you
But, sometimes
I hate you
Not really but there are moments of overwhelming terrified rage
I cannot contain the sensation that we’re sinking
Collapsing into the perpetual sloth of our own laziness
Was I always this way
Is this you
How will we ever grow when so many hours have passed
Sitting, laying
Existing but not living
I don’t know how to motivate you
Or, myself
I don’t know how to change myself
Or, you
Whether it is even worthwhile to try
Is it possible that this is life
Slowly too quickly slipping away
Never before have I so keenly noticed the hours
How very terribly few there seem to be

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