Connection 

There is not always beauty

Or symmetry

Or simplicity

In fact 

Easy is a fantastic beast and no one knows where to find it

Or how to find it

No one knows how

And that’s the problem 

We are tangled tangible chaos

Overlapping and intersecting incorrectly 

All the time 

And when you finally map the way you connect to another they’re gone

Or maybe they’re just different than they were

But it’s all the same thing because you’re not the same anymore either

And you’ve poured your heart into a roadmap to nowhere

So you start again 

Because everybody has to go somewhere 

And you spend your life trying to map an infinity of pivotal moments between people 

No longer strangers

Only to have never met them again 

-EJoveJohnson

Sing the Hollow

Come the hollow

Words that lie

Ephemeral

Cosmetic for aesthetic lives

Discarded

Wasting time just filling time 

Too much and somehow not enough

For meaning

Anything more than heartbeats fading

Cuz life is fear and frequent failure

Life is free fall seating one

It’s superficial harmony

With ghosts of who we thought we’d be 

Unliving

Hollow

Lives

-EJoveJohnson

A helpful tree for grieving

I want to leave nothing left unsaid Leave

Nothing to chance 

If only, at close of day, there were no ellipses

But I know I’ll forget something important

That

We’ll talk about the meaning of life but I’ll forget to say I love you

Or maybe

I love you is all I’ll get out

See

Despite Shakespeare

An entire life can’t be condensed into a single soliloquy

All the things I should have said won’t get said and one day you’ll be gone 

Or

I’ll be gone

Whoever goes first, there will definitely be a loss 

And 

I am not equipped for that unprepared ending

I am not prepared to say goodbye before I’ve told you that I love the way your hair smells like summer vacation 

That

Yours are the strongest hands I’ve ever held 

That you’re my swan in Monet’s water lilies and you’ve always been the lighthouse guiding me home

If the number of things I have to tell you was directly proportional to the amount of time I’d have to tell them to you

I’d read you every entry on google in every language ever spoken 

But

That’s not how it works is it

One day you’ll be gone

Or

I’ll be gone 

Whoever goes first there will definitely be a loss

And

I am not prepared for the ending 

-EJoveJohnson

Proximity

The intimacy of proximity

Otherwise strangers rest together softly

Momentary bedfellows on buses

Distinct lives, histories, and futures 

Collide in an infinitude of fleeting encounters 

The ephemera of their unknown 

Lingers

Her perfume in my hair 

His coat on my skin 

The accidental chiaroscuro of sunlight and clavicle exposed in unintended sleep

Captured, filtered, remembered

Anonymously

-EJoveJohnson

Spectrum

I want to speak freely

Giving sound to thought otherwise trapped

Yet

Every time I speak the distance between mind and mouth sharpens my words into weapons 

And you are wounded and I’m not sure how to help

I promise you that’s not how it sounded in my head

Those weren’t the words I felt in my heart 

Yet

Ballistic missiles fly from my lips, detonate in your smile

And,

I’m sorry 

What I wouldn’t give to not be sorry anymore

But there’s a mean I can’t explain

Hijacking our moments 

Coloring our memories  

Hardening your eyes 

And goddamnit I wish I had a reason why 

But, I only get the words right when I write them 

And unfortunately, I’m perpetually lacking a pen

-EJoveJohnson

Day 1

Today is a precipice, a tipping point, the cresting of a wave on our shores whose depth and force we can only imagine. A departure from the relative safety and routine of statesmen for parts unknown. Odoacer having sacked Rome has now been set the task of governing it, ferociously divided. Whether or not he is “my” president. He is, for however long, our collective president. And, as a person standing on a beach facing down a wave of unknowable destructive power, I’m afraid. A simple, stark, undignified fear has taken up residence somewhere between my heart and my gut and it feels like falling. It is too easy, and naive, to say that he, his cabinet choices, and his eventual Supreme Court picks are just figureheads. These are the people who will shape our country for at least the next 2 years but more than likely the next four. Their history, experience, beliefs, and personal ethics will without exception touch each of our lives. My only recourse is to know. To do my damnedest to be informed, and help disseminate information to others. They choose bluster, dazzle, and distraction. I choose facts. This is our call to action, to information, to (self) education. To accept no less than the depth and breadth of every single one of the freedoms and protections afforded every human in this country, and to actively strive to increase those freedoms and protections for the marginalized. He is not my president, but he is our president and we the people must hold him and all those under him accountable.-EJoveJohnson