Such a lovely place

What do you do when the chips are down 

And

You've bet them all on the wrong horse

Or

Maybe not the wrong horse

Per se

But, like, maybe the horse wasn't aware of the race

And here you are holding the bag

Buying the farm

And realizing there's no bridge to cross with your chickens 

Because life does this weird thing where it keeps changing

The only thing you or I or we can be sure of is that we can't actually be sure of anything 

Because I swear to god, or gods, or goddess, or Oprah 

That last week my biggest concern was buying non toxic make up 

And today 

I'm figuring out where to go with my career

Deciding decisively the trajectory of my life

I'm facing down the love of my life 

Who sees my dream or our life

As his worst nightmare

And

To boot

I definitely put those five pounds back on 

So where exactly do I go from here

How do I begin to think about tomorrow as anything more than the blade of a guillotine 

Because all I want to do 

Right now

Is Netflix and coma 

To arrive at the mirage 

Check in to the Hotel California 

And call it a life

Because I have not one solitary clue 

What to do

Or 

Where to go

I've built this life full of strangers 

For a stranger 

I've never met 

And here I am 

Unsurprisingly alone

Unfixed

Influx

Like a mirage at the edge of a waterfall

-EJoveJohnson