That’s Amore

You joke

A lot

About how I'm your nightmare


You're just not that into it

You tell me 

In so many actions 

That we are two roads diverged in a yellow wood

That deforestation has brought back together 

I don't want to be your worst case scenario


I don't want to be the path of least resistance

I want to be a choice you make every day


Full well that the world is full of choices different if not better than me 

I can't 

Love you into loving me back 

I can't

Be the partner I hope to have 

I can be your partner 


I can accept what you give 

Or not

But with me 

There's no halfway

There's no feeling it out

There's no casual

It's forever or forgotten 

It's the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie 


A sun bleached flyer long since faded

So when you tell me 

You're in

You're my partner my team mate my cheering section my tough love my always

You've gotta mean it

Because I don't do half measures

I'm not interested in going through life with or as an NPC

But that's a problem 



I can't feel you next to me


Coat Tails

This is uncomfortable


Am uncomfortable

Decision point approaches

And this time it's my choice 


Is it

Because whichever way I choose 

Is loss

Whichever way I choose

Is risk

And I don't know who I am yet


How can I make that bet

Because all I have 

Is a list of what I'm not

A dogged determination that I'm not quite sure what to do with 

I am frenetic energy spiraling toward entropy 

And, possibly

Taking everything I love with me 

Yet somehow decision point approaches

And this time it's my choice